I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
