If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
