he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
