Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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