I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
