I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
