If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
