She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
