If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Man, jail baloney is awful.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
