come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
