She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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