It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
