Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
