it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
