Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
