One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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