After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
