I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
