so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
