So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
