Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
