Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
