i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
