hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
