I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
