i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
