The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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