so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
