You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Randomize
