I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I have already put on my inside pants.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
