so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize