He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
