Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
