dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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