The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
