out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
soo... how was my night?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
