On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
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