from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
