His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
im having a threesome with these popsicles
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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