and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
