Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
