my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
