Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
