its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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