So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
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