so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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