It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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