how can u be prego again
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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