I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
