I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
