why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I need water and some morals
Randomize
