dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
