another moral hangover. fuck.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
